Committing to Beating My Fear of Commitment

commitment phobias

©iStockphoto.com/robynmac

Time is a funny thing, and my fear of commitment and I obsess over it. 

I once thought that the eight months I spent stuck in LA, unemployed, waiting for my expensive lease to finish so I could flee that city that was never, ever good to me, were the longest of my life. I spent whole days watching the clock, waiting. In time, a solution would come.

It eventually did, the second I threw everything into storage and boarded a flight to Costa Rica, for what Ithought would be a month or three.

There, time seemed to pass even more slowly than it did during my awful year in Los Angeles – but it was different. In the sleepy heat of the tropics, I was always busy, but time didn’t seem to fly by like it always did when I was in NYC or Las Vegas working the hours of a CEO yet barely scraping by. Yoga, running with the dogs, working four hours a day (not 12!), studying, watching the sunset with friends…

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My Biggest Fear: Bested, but not Conquered

travel, Las VegasZip-lining and sky-diving? Check. A strange addiction to catapulting to more than 1,000 feet on the Stratosphere’s Big Shot here in Las Vegas? Love it. Landing alone in China, Turkey, Malaysia and who knows where else, moving to a barrio in Costa Rica, solo cross-country road trips: Fun hobbies all of them, ways to unwind!

Even though my extreme dislike of horror films makes me think of myself as a scaredy cat, I get called a thrill-seeker all the time.

But I have one serious, debilitating fear. And I’m about two hours away from addressing it in the above photo, where I’m enjoying the calm before the storm with an old friend from NYC.

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