I’m often asked about dating in Las Vegas. In many ways, it’s the same as it was in NYC, in that the men who move here don’t do so to find The One. (Hello, Wall Street, etc.) It’s different in Vegas in that you’ve got real, bona fide Playmates and such in your dating pool. (And to make it even worse, many of them are great.) My own situation has the added kick that I spend most of my social energies in situations where I won’t meet any single guys. My world is a blur of parties such as Chanel fashion, Fashion’s Night Out, white parties, Cirque du Soleil premieres, the opening of high-end stores, and charity balls… Not exactly a breeding ground for eligible bachelors. The only way to widen your circles and meet the other “normal” people off-Strip is online.
But now eharmony is ruining everything. Dating in Las Vegas was hard enough before!
Almost everyone is online in Vegas, although the women talk about it more freely than the guys. Even my friends who still go out to the clubs know that it’s difficult to connect with someone whose sole purpose of being in town is to go wild for his friend’s bachelor party. You sign on eharmony or match or whichever online site suits your personality, and then you don’t obsess. It is just another way to possibly meet someone you wouldn’t normally meet. And this way, it’s based on common interests! It’s a win-win.
Or at least it was…
This week, eharmony rolled out a new feature that the men seem to have enthusiastically embraced. The service has provided dozens (more?) of idiotic questions that I guess are meant to break the ice. Instead, they are a huge, disastrous example of WAY too much information. Also, some of the questions are ones that repulse the women.
We have a problem.
No girlfriend of mine has answered a single one of these often disgusting questions, but we were shocked that the men have. And I’m not talking they clicked off one or two multiple-choice answers. I’m talking dozens…
I’ve collected a few of the questions. Some of the men that eharmony matched me with because they mistakenly think we are compatible in any way have chosen questions that were too nasty for me to even include. The rest are just off-putting.
If a potential date asks me a yes or no question about ever having been fired, is he judging me? Why on earth would he ask if I would ever share a toothbrush, especially before our first date? If he asks how I feel about all-nighters, does that mean he parties too hard? How do I answer a question like, “Do you expect presents on your birthday?”
Even the most benign-seeming questions don’t leave room for an explanation, so one simple answer could get the other person’s imagination to run wild. And we all know what happens when you expect the worse… Why kill any chance of liking someone before you’ve even met them?
After a quick search that I kept brief because seeing all these guys dig their own grave was too painful, here are a few of the questions I found most off-putting or would just wonder why the guy was asking. Again, I must repeat that the gross ones don’t have a place on my blog. So these aren’t the worst ones…
Would you date someone who considers themselves to be bisexual?
Women who don’t shave are…..
Have you ever been drunk before noon?
Women with crow’s feet are…
If I had to cut calories in my diet, I would…
The doctor says you have liver cancer and recommends surgery as soon as possible. What’s your next move?
You catch your partner viewing porn online… Strip clubs are… Dirty jokes are…
I thought I was on a mature dating site where I may or may not meet someone else interested in a relationship and hopefully marriage. Eharmony was supposed to be the “serious” site. So any guy asking me about porn, strip clubs and (yes “and,” all of these were from the same guy) dirty jokes before our first date is someone I think belongs somewhere else. And now eharmony is enabling that behavior.
Men, listen up: For a relationship to start, a woman expects a proper first date with a man who’s putting his best foot forward. Nothing kills romance like talking about dieting or a life-threatening illness before you’ve even met. Some of those things are real issues that women feel very uncomfortable talking about with a complete stranger.
So if this OKCupid-worthy experiment is here to stay, I beg everyone to ignore it. You don’t have to answer these questions!!
On a side note, I wrote my tips for creating an attractive online profile in Vegas magazine’s sister publication, Las Vegas Weekly, last week. Check it out here!
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