There’s never a dull moment in Vegas: From the parties to the legendary shows, there’s always something to do. And let me tell you, Las Vegans dress the part. Short skirts and sequined dresses are the norm on the Strip — so leave it to a little hit show called Absinthe Las Vegas to completely knock that on its head. At this point, I hope everyone in Vegas has seen Absinthe at least once. For those of you who haven’t yet met this phenomenon, go. It’s an old-school circus that performs daredevil acts on a teensy tiny circular stage in a tent in front of Caesars Palace. The ringmaster is a perverted jokester named the Gazilionaire, assisted by the even raunchier little Penny Pibbitz, shown here, third from left.
After sightseeing all day at the Hoover Dam, I arrived at the Absinthe Las Vegas tent with my two best friends from New York. The occasion? The runaway hit’s 500th show in Vegas. The performance was fantastic — just as I remembered it. Then, after the last number, alarm bells went off, which caused much confusion. The Gazillionaire jumped onto the stage dressed in an astronaut suit and helmet. As he rambled on about owing too much money, it slowly came out that the tent was turned into a spaceship and headed far from Earth. Astronaut suits were being passed out at a rapid speed, as well as pieces of aluminum foil.
The Gazillionaire claimed that he was too cheap to buy a helmut for anyone but him — so we had to all make our own of foil. As my friends and I looked around, we were absolutely shocked. Everyone was actually putting ON the astronaut suits! When I say everyone, I mean everyone — from hipsters to surprised Midwestern geeks to grandmothers.
So we put ours on.
The intro to the party was clever: the Gazillionaire told his adoring crowd that the Martians hated DJs — so we should dance the night away. And the Martians hate fancy food like crab cakes, so we should eat up. And the Martians HATE champagne — so we were to always have a glass in our hand.
This was by far the most clever surprise party I’d ever been to. Does anyone else have any to share?
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